'What not to say to someone when they lose a baby.'

     I was reading a article titled 'What not to say to someone when they lose a baby.' Number one thing was 'It was God's will,' followed by 'It was meant to be'. Well those are two things that I say to myself daily. I guess that goes to show that even though I am dealing with the loss of my precious baby girl I still don't know what to say to another grieving mother.
     I truly do believe that it was God's choice to give my baby girl a first class ticket to heaven, just like it was his choice to leave Joey here on earth with us. If I've said it once I've said it a million times, it truly is a miracle that Joey is still here with us. Everything had to fall into place in order for him to live, some of you reading my blog might not be familiar with his story so I will give the short version. If you've heard this story a million times, that's what Joey says when I tell it, then skip this part!
     Over the 4th of July weekend (this past summer) my youngest son Joey (who had just turned 6) was riding the quad with his older sister. From what they have told me they hit a rock and the handle bars jolted and hit him in the abdomen causing no tears or for them to even stop their ride. About 45 mins later he came into the house and laid down on the couch, my middle daughter came outside and told me there was something wrong with him. I asked him what was wrong he then told me what happened (1st I heard about the quad) I looked at his stomach and saw a small brush burn, I figured broken ribs and told him we were going to the ER. Although I told him to stay home, Nick came with us to the hospital. When we arrived the Dr on duty immediately realized the severity of his injury and ordered a CT scan in which it was discovered he had a fairly large liver laceration. In less then a hour after we arrived at the ER he was being taken by helicopter (which he's still mad he didn't get to look out the window) to Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. Being the mom that I am I was obviously going with him until I was told no, sorry your pregnant! Thankfully, Nick came with us to the hospital so he could go with him. When I arrived at Children's he was in surgery where he remained for about 3 hours. When we finally got to see him he was in the PICU on a ventilator, he remained in the PICU for 5 days. EVERYONE of the trauma Dr's that worked on him told us if it hadn't been for the liver specialist that was on call that day our son would have died. We later learned the severity of his injury, a grade5 liver laceration, the last time that a surgery was performed on a child due to a liver injury at Children's Hospital 7 years ago. He was released from the hospital after a week only to have to return a few days later for a bile leak due to the liver damage, he spent 9 more days there before he was able to come home. He saw the liver dr....Dr Bond a few weeks ago and according to Dr Bond he is recovering well and he shouldn't have to see him again unless complications arise.
    I truly believe that it was God's will that Joey is still with us...every piece of the puzzle had to fall into exact place in order for him to still be here. If Jaden hadn't came into the house with him he probably would have fell asleep, which would not have been a surprise to me, he was tired after playing outside all day, and never woken up due to the internal bleeding, if I would have dismissed his pains, like I sometimes do, if I'd have called 911 instead of taking him ourselves would the paramedics realized the severity, if the Dr at Indiana Hospital wouldn't have realized the severity of his injury, if I would have made him get that shower I was considering before we left (he was dirty) if Nick hadn't been there to ride along with him,  and the biggest if...if Dr Bond hadn't been on call.
     I can't believe in God's miracles if I don't believe that for whatever reason He choose to bring Giovanna home to His house instead of mine. I'm sure I'll never know why and it will never make sense why any baby has to die. But if it wasn't 'God's will' and 'meant to be' then I'm sure my son wouldn't be here today either. I take great comfort in knowing that my baby girl is at Home with God in his arms and although I miss her more then anything I know that I will see her again someday....your always in my heart and never far from my thoughts baby girl!