life's not fair....

     If you have more then one child you probably hear...."It's not fair he/she got this or that and I didn't" more times then you can imagine. If my kids have said that once they've said it a million times, probably daily. And although at that moment, to that child it really might not be fair, it all equals out in the end. I hear it so often that my automatic response is..."Life's not fair, what do you want me to do about it."
     There's nothing I can do to make life fair, nothing I can do to bring back my baby girl. I must except that although this is not the journey I choose for myself it's the one that was chosen for me and my entire family. I have no idea how to walk it, I just try to take it day by day or better yet moment by moment. Some moments or days are better then others but at the end of the day its still the same....I am a mother who lost her baby, Nick is still a dad who lost his daughter and my kids are still children who lost their baby sister and along with her, part of their innocence. It makes me sad and a little guilty that although I know it's not my fault, my children have to endure this pain and loss of innocence because of us. As a child, and even as a adult I never thought that babies die (although I know they do) until mine did. My children have the harsh reality of life really not being fair, they learned at a early age that babies do die and along with them so do hopes and dreams. Through all of this I think I've realized that every day truly is a gift....however fair or unfair that day maybe, it's another day that we have here on earth with the ones we love.