Last night we attended mass for all souls day, they read the names of all who have died in the church this year, there were 51 names read. It's hard to believe that one of those names was our baby girl. It gives me comfort to know that I will see her again one day but it saddens me that she's not physically here with us. Halloween was this past week-end and while the kids had a ball trick-or-treating I just felt like something was missing. She should have been with us dressed in one of the little halloween buntings. It's just not fair...all the things she'll never do with us. I never got to feed her or hear her cry, she'll never spend a holiday with us or go on vacation...it's just not fair.  I struggle daily trying to remain positive and grateful for all the blessing I do have in my life but it's so hard when my heart aches for my baby girl. As we face the upcoming holidays I'm filled with dread, how will we get through all our baby girls first without her being part of them?!?