Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Well, it's a new year....what can I say about that...Time to change the calendar and try to remember the right year when writing it, other then that today's the same as yesterday and every other day. Except on Jan 1st last year we found out that we were expecting our precious baby girl, Giovanna, a secret we kept for many weeks/months. When I say weeks/months I mean we really didn't tell anyone until about April. Anyone that knows Nick and I knows that not something easy to do....especially when the news was so exciting. The fear of losing our baby early in the pregnancy was great because the pain of my miscarriage was so fresh, we didn't want to put our kids and family through that kind of loss again. Little did we know how much greater the loss would be. That we would only have hours to spend with our baby girl, that we would be coming home from the hospital without her. There are still many days where it just doesn't seem real...we had a baby and she died, I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. Someone asked me the other day if we were going to try again...Joey answered them YES! Not sure where that came from but obviously the wise 6 year old thinks we are. I have learned in the last year their are no guarantee's, just because your pregnant doesn't mean you get a baby and just because you have a baby doesn't mean it will live....what a harsh reality. I know I've blogged quite a few times about the loss of innocence that goes with losing a child but that's because it really does get lost, in a way that's hard to imagine. If your reading my blog because you have had a loss you know exactly what I mean and if your a friend reading this I hope you never have to truly understand what I mean. So as the new year begins I look forward, not with any great expectations but just with hope...I'm hoping for a uneventful year! I pray that all of my family and friends have a happy and healthy year!

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