Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

As we approach the New Year I'm filled with mixed emotions. This last year has not been one of the best for our family. There have been a few moments when I don't think I can take anymore, then God gives me something else. I have to remind myself daily, it could be worse. Don't get me wrong, I know the good times far outweighed the bad but its hard to remember that sometimes. There has been more joy and heartache this year then I ever thought possible. When I think back to last New Years it doesn't seem possible that all of these things happened in just one year. I can remember thinking last December, I can't wait for this year to be over, it was a rough year...if only I knew how much harder 2010 was going to be. While I'm looking forward to 2011 and the promises it might bring, I am also sad to see 2010 end...after all it was the year we welcomed our beautiful baby girl, Giovanna Jean into this world. Although she left us way to soon I will always cherish the time we had with her. I feel that 2010 has made me a stronger person, stronger then I could ever imagine...I didn't know I had it in me to get through the things that I did. I'm not saying I'm getting through them the best way but its whats working for me. I remember when Joey had his accident and I had to drive myself to Pittsburgh because I couldn't go with him, I think that might have been the longest, loneliest drive of my life, every time I called Nick to see how it was doing I got...I don't know just hurry up and get here! Seeing my baby boy in the PICU after surgery on a ventilator was one of the scariest things ever. Little did I know just two short months later my baby girl would be in the NICU fighting for her life on a ventilator. I've seen the inside of the hospital more then I ever wanted this year. I remember when my nieces were born telling Nick that would be so hard to leave them in the NICU, I didn't know how my sister was doing it...I wish I could have left my baby girl in the NICU and she would have gotten better.
I have learned many things this year about life, myself, my family and my friends...The one thing I will never forget, is that there are no guarantee's in life, live it to the fullest you never know when it might end but it really doesn't end, just your life here on earth ends, you have all of eternity to be with Jesus and the ones you love!

1 comment:

  1. I am thinking of you... and once again I want to say how much Giovanna and you have inspired me to get closer to God and count my blessings... After Hannah was born, I saw how fragile life truly is and what a true miracle it is. I can't believe she survived her journey. And then Giovanna was born... and went to heaven too soon. I wanted to shake my fist at God for you... How could He do this to you!!! How could He make you see the miracle of your sisters babies and my baby... and then not let Giovanna make it!!! But, I saw your strength and love for your children, husband, and God pull you thru. I know there are times that are so hard for you... yet I keep seeing you pull thru and trust... and then proclaim taht faith to others. Giovanna and you have brought me in my faith stronger adn closer to God. And i truly think we take every moment as a gift as we have learned from you. I still am brought to tears nearly everyday wishing you could hold your angel... see her smiles... hear her cooos... I am praying continually for you. I am here for you guys...