Yesterday I went back to the hospital to pick up our records....going back there sucks (for lack of a better term). As I drive there I am reminded of the drive Nick and I made 4 short months ago, how excited we were, we laughed on the way there taking bets on what time she would be born, Nick joking that she was probably going to be a he. We were looking so forward to meeting our baby girl...excited to introduce her to her big sisters & brothers...to bring her home.  If I've replayed the memories of that day once I've replayed them a million times....it's all I have the memories from that day. As painful as they are if I could, I would go back and relive that day in a heartbeat....to hold my sweet baby girl one more time. I'm glad I got the records, they helped piece together some of the things from that day that I wasn't to sure about. I remember how excited I was durning my short labor, filled with anticipation of the arrival of our baby. If I could go back to that day, if there were do-overs in life. I have to remember that everything happens for a reason and although I don't understand that reason and I'm sure I never will all I can do is except it and more on. I thank God for the short time that we had with Giovanna and while I wish we had more...just one more day; but I know it wouldn't be enough, no amount of time will ever be enough until eternity....I miss you baby girl!