Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tonight we attended a  Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting Ceremony at West Penn Hospital. Although, it hurts its also comforting to see we're not alone in our loss and to have Giovanna's memory honored. We took the kids with us, this is the first time that they attended something like this, and it was hard. Nick and I went to a beautiful ceremony back in Oct for Pregnancy and Infant Loss (thank you Sherri) but we chose not to take the kids. The speaker this evening said something along the lines of a loss of a child is a loss of innocence. That's totally describes how I feel...not only did we lose our precious baby girl but our children lost part of their innocence. Although, I know its not my fault it still hurts so bad. As a mother you don't want your children to hurt and when you cant fix whats hurting them its the worst feeling. Seeing them crying over their baby sister breaks my heart (I can deal with them crying bc they're arguing with each other) There is nothing I can do to 'fix' it, to bring our baby girl back, to take their pain away...God knows if I could, I would.  We were given a candle with a beautiful saying...We pray this night to understand, Why something so lovely cannot stay, God's miracle in the night, A snowflake sent to melt our hearts away.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds nice. I didn't know of it. We are going to a remembrance ceremony at St. Clair tomorrow night. It will be my first trip there since Adelyn was born/died there. I hope I don't cry my eyes out, but I probably will because I've been weepy all weekend due to PMS. I just hate for Sierra to see me cry and she's only 2 so it's hard to explain to her what happened.