Yesterday was Valentine's Day, Giovanna's 5 month birthday and mine & Nick's wedding validation all rolled into one. I can't believe 5 months has passed, I know I say that every month but really it seems like time is flying by. I remember when I was 5 months pregnant, the end seemed so far away, we had just began announcing our pregnancy and the fact that it was another girl. It seemed like we had so long to go before we could meet her. Now that she's been gone for 5 months I feel like it was yesterday....I hold on to every memory of that day, not wanting to forget one single detail. I can't believe our baby girl would be 5 months old...I find myself wondering who she would have looked like, how big she would have been, what she would be doing and how the kids would be driving me crazy fighting over her. I watch my daughters with my nieces and its bittersweet, I know they would have been great big sisters, they love to hold them and carry them around. I remember when I was pregnant with Joey, Jaden was about 3 and we found out we were having a boy, she cried and said she wanted a baby sister because she already had a brother. So of course I just wanted her to stop crying so I told her don't worry we'll have another baby and I'll never forget Bailee who was probaby 6 had this awful look on her face and she said 'Really Mom, dont you think 4's enough?' I think I told Bailee 4 was enough but unless we wanted to listen to Jaden cry all day just go along with it. Jaden did get her little sister after all and although she only held her for a short time she will remember her forever...we all will, she touched our lives in ways we could never imagion. I wish that she would have been there with us last night, as our kids watched Nick and I rededicate ourselves to each other. When I married Nick almost 13 years ago I never in a million years thought we would lose our baby...through all that we have been through in this last year I would have never made it without him, he truly is my rock. I imagine how different our lives would be with her here today...aside from the sleepless nights I'm sure she would have been a great joy. It's weird over these last few months missing her has become my normal, a normal I never thought would be mine...I love and miss you baby girl!