Today's blog is harsh, if your easily offended STOP reading now!
Why is it so hard for people to understand that I'm hurting???? Yeah, I continue to live my life....I have to be ok, I have a family! But just because things look ok doesn't mean that a minute goes by that I don't think about or miss my baby! I have to continue on in my life, its a challenge to do the things I do but I cant sit home and cry everyday. If I don't keep myself busy I think I would be insane. I'm not going to tell you how bad it hurts, it's easier to tell you I'm ok, I don't need you to feel bad for me, just understand that I'm in pain...a pain that I wish didn't exist...a pain I wish no one ever had to feel. I don't think the pain ever goes away. It doesn't hurt me to talk about my baby, I think about her all the time but I see how uneasy it makes the people I'm talking to so I don't...there's no point in upsetting people. I'm just frustrated, I wish people would realize that there are bigger problems in this world then theirs! My heart breaks for my baby but I don't kid myself for one minute in thinking that it's the biggest problem in the world. I know that there are bigger things in this world then me and my problems. When dealing with issues that arise I try to remind myself...is this really a big deal, in the grand scheme of things will it really matter that much, a day a week or a month from now! It drives me insane to see people create problems where there doesn't have to be...there is enough of it in this world...why do we want to make more for ourselves!?! I really fill like I'm reaching my breaking point with other peoples problems. I don't care, I'm trying to be nice but I dealing with a pain that most of you cant imagine....you don't have to spend everyday wondering what your life should be like, you don't feel like a part of you is missing, you don't wake up from a dream wishing you could go back to sleep because your baby was alive in your dream...I don't want your pity, I want you to wake up and realize that this world is so much bigger then you and I. Lets thank God for what we have and treat others the way we want to be treated!