Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I have once again been asked....The dreaded question....I'm sure most BLM will agree with me, one of the worst questions you can be asked is...."How many children do you have?" Who would have thought such a simple question could cause so much pain. If you include your angel then you know the awkward silence to follow and if you don't you feel like your cheating them...is there really a answer to this horrible question?!? It's sad to say but my answer depends on my mood, if I want to explain or not. I feel the need to explain when I tell people about Giovanna and I can see there uneasiness, why wouldn't they be, who wants to think about much less talk about such a awful thing...me, I have this overwhelming need at times to tell people, it happened to me, the unimaginable, my baby died shortly after she was born....she wasn't suppose to die, it wasn't suppose to happen like that, it was a normal pregnancy, I had no reason to think she wouldn't be coming home with us. It drives me crazy to see expecting moms take it all for granted, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish what happened to Giovanna to happen to anyone but dont take it for granted, realize what a gift you've benn given! I understand at times it suck, your moody, your back hurts, your getting fat...I've been there, I've felt that way but I guess when you lose it all you realize how special it was. Back to the DREADED question...I know its not meant to be hurtful or prying, I find myself asking it to people too. I just never really thought about how hard it is to answer until I lost my angel. I love and miss you baby girl, today and everyday!

1 comment:

  1. THE hardest question any BLP (parent) has to answer...even my husband and I answer it differently. I often answer that I have five (three of my womb, two step children). Sometimes I answer that from seven pregnancies have given me four angles and three monsters...it's never the right answer...it never feels perfect. Sometimes I just say LOTS and people giggle.

    It's like if somebody asks "how are you." How often do you hear that as a question that will take an hour to answer? How often do you answer "fine."