Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I can't believe that Gabriella is going to be 2 weeks old tomorrow...I'm not sure where the time has went. I've been wanting to blog but haven't had a chance. I think we're all adjusting well to having a baby in the house...its been so long I forgot what it was like. I quickly remembered how much longer it takes to get out the door, I was so use to telling everyone to get their shoes and coats on were leaving and they do...I forgot about having to change the baby, feed the baby, change the baby again and make sure I have everything in the diaper bag...but I'm loving the adjustment! The kids seem to really love her, they fight over whose going to sit next to her in the car and whose going to hold her next. Jaden is the only one brave enough to change a diaper...tonight I was in the bathroom and Jaden changed her and attempted to put her pjs on...she was stuck with the arms so I had to help. Its funny everyday she tells me what I'm suppose to dress her in for the day...I never thought a 11 year old would be so excited to have a baby sister! I think Jaden and Joey are defiantly the most impressed by her, while Bailee and Bubba like her, they would rather txt their friends or watch tv!
I'm so happy to she's finally here, those last few weeks of pregnancy were stressful to say the least. Having a new baby in the house makes me miss Giovanna more then I thought...I wish that we could have spent more time with her, getting to know her, making memories with her. It's hard not to think about the things I didn't get to do with her...even the simple things like hearing her cry or nursing her. I wish I could have been more of a mom to her. Today I got Gabriella's birth certificate in the mail, it reminded me of the day I got Giovanna's and the shock of the work deceased stamped across it...a word that doesn't belong on a baby's birth certificate. It's hard to put into words but when I hold my beautiful new baby I'm filled with regret...regret that I didn't get more time with Giovanna, more memories, more pictures of her and a chance to 'mother' her. I try to remember to thank God that I got the time that I did have with her, the pictures I did get and the memories I did make...and to remember how truly blessed I am, how thankful I am for the beautiful children that we have.


  1. I can so relate to this. It was weird to get a normal birth certificate, wasn't it? Just wait till you get her social security card! I have had moments like that, where I miss Adelyn even more. Yet having another baby has been very healing for me. I hope the same for you.

  2. I agree with Lisa. Just having a living baby was amazing to me, even though he does make me miss Aubree even more..You hit the nail on the head with what you said..Many prayers and happy thoughts for you and your family!