21 months....

I find it so hard to believe that 21 months have passed. I've been thinking about Giovanna so much lately...with every new thing Gabriella learns I am reminded of what Giovanna didn't. Gabriella loves kids, especially little ones I'm sure she would have adored her big sister. It's been a rough week, it started Sunday with us missing the butterfly release...I try to never miss a oppertunity to hear Giovanna's name read aloud but Jaden had a softball tournament and I thought we would be there longer then we were and by the the time we got home I was so glad to be home and relax that I forgot about going...the story of my life. Then I open the mail yesterday to a bill addressed to baby girl DiFilippo for $6000...I thought maybe it was a mix up from Gabriella's birth (the hospitals r always billing the wrong insurance) until I saw the date 9-14-10! I haven't even dealt with that yet...I feel like calling them and telling them you want me to pay u $6000 for killing my baby two years later...do u think I'm nuts!!! So of course when I opened the bill I called Nick right away to tell him...the irony is I forgot where he was working this week (he moves around so much) he was at the hospital Giovanna was born at. I can't image how hard it is for him to go there and work...he's much stronger then I am and doesn't reallysay anything but I know it hurts. I wonder if it will ever stop hurting...will the "what if's" "I wishes" "if I could ho.backs" ever go away....I love my baby girl and miss her so much! I thank God for the moments I had with her and for blessing me with the wonderful children I get to raise. I love and miss u baby girl!