Welcome to my blog....I started this blog to express my feeling in the life and death of my precious angel, Giovanna Jean. She will always be in our hearts....we love you baby girl!

If you have found my blog because you to have experienced a loss please take a moment to sign my guest book.

I'm writing this blog for me, to express my feelings in this difficult time, if I upset or offend you in anyway, sorry stop reading!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I don't even know where to begin....I am so frustrated at this point in my pregnancy. When I originally went to the Dr's I was given a due date of 10/16 and told that because of what happened with Giovanna they would induce me at 39 weeks...I'm still pregnant! After my anatomy scan at 18 weeks the Dr decided to move my due date back to 10/29 biased on that...the problem with this theory is it is proven that second trimester scans can be off 14 days either way. I expressed my concerns many of times to the 3 different Dr's that I see and was given 3 different opinions...keep original date, better safe then sorry...go with new date, it's rare that they are off (it's also a less then 1% chance that a baby with meconium will die and we all know how that ended up)...the 3rd Dr said biased on everything she felt confident in moving my due date to 10/20. I was content with that decision...not the 16 but close enough and I have delivered all of my babies at 41+ weeks. So every time I go to the Dr's I'm given some sort of run-around as to why they can't schedule my induction...according to the due date of 10/20 I was 39 weeks on 10/13 so when I went into my appointment expecting to be scheduled I was told..no we can't schedule you bc your not dilated...then the truth comes out...no one changed my due date back to 10/20 in my chart it's still listed as 10/29 so I'm not 39 weeks and the hospital will not allow the Dr's to schedule a elective induction until 39 weeks!
It makes me so made, I hear of people all of the time that deliver at 37+ weeks! I have had 5 babies that I have carried for a minium of 41 weeks each time, I fully understand that when the baby is ready it will come and I'm a firm believer of that but we lost our last baby because she was late. The risk of meconium increases as you go post dates...I understand it was rare...less then 1% but it happened to us....I just don't get why they Dr's can't seem to understand that! This is unnecessary stress that I don't need right now, it's hard enough to hold it together. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my daughter and wish that she was here with us. But she's not and its my reality that sometimes rare things happen I just don't want it to happen again. After losing Giovanna I have met many strong women who have been through horrible losses and while they have been a great support system it really opens your eyes to all of the things that can go wrong and it's hard not to stress about that. I just pray that soon this baby will be safe in our arms...it's already a special baby with it's own guardian angel!


  1. Exactly the same way I felt..I was a mess near the end..terrified of all that could go wrong in delivery because I knew way too much! I swear it is much easier to be naive when it comes to this kind of stuff. Praying for a safe and soon delivery..I am just so sorry that you have had to go through more undue stress..I am not sure why they aren't more compassionate or understanding with you. I felt like I received a lot of compassion and understanding this time around because of what happened the last time..I can't wait to see your new precious rainbow baby!! Good luck!!

  2. I'll be praying for you. I hope that all goes well<3