Ten months....I never thought I would make it through one day with my baby girl; to think I have made it ten months is unbelievable. Those first few weeks I wasn't sure I would ever make it through the day without crying. Losing Giovanna was the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through; no family should have to endure the pain that comes with losing a child. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how our lives would be with her here with us instead of watching over us. I'm preparing to go to NYC with Bailee for a week next week while I'm excited to go and spend some time with Bailee without the other kids it also makes me sad knowing that I would not be going if Giovanna was here. It's hard to believe in two short months Giovanna will be celebrating her 1st birthday in heaven...I can't believe almost a year has passed. I find myself thinking about that day she was born, wishing I had more time with her...more time to hold her...more time to get to know her. I wonder what she would be like today; would she be crawling, learning to walk, getting into everything? Nick and I were talking the other day and I told him we should be glad for her, she got to go straight to heaven, she didn't have to suffer through life here, she never had to be disappointed or hurt...but at the same time she never got to have the good parts of life and that breaks my heart. I wish life gave you redo's or at least chances to go back in time, so i could hold my baby girl one more time.

Every time this song comes on the radio I find myself thinking of Giovanna and wishing it were true!

I love and miss you baby girl!